Accolades
Post Season Accolades:
A very interesting debut for the Storm. Looking over the results of the previous games is truly dizzying. We played a lot of crazy nail biter games, we had some laughs, and grabbed some ass.
Thanks to:
Kevin Anderson: "Hando" - Congrats on your engagement, will we ever see you again?
Tyler Axelrod: "V-Cast" - "What's that Niner's score, oh, BACK!"
Graham Chong: "Sustainably Bad" - Cleveland Browns? Seriously? WTF?
Mac Clonan: "Cap'n" - Commanding presence, though unknown to his AD
Rich Gamble: "Danger" - Better living through Botany
Jeff Graham: "Bronze" - Not your medal, your glistening frame...
Justin Hawkins: "J-Hawk" - See Gamble, Rich "Danger"...
Justin Halpern: "Cheshire Sleeves" - Fashionable attire wins over all
Jami James: "N/A" - Uhhh....
Ben Kamekona: "BK1" - "Oh Sweetie, just wanna...."
Eli Kollman: "Priorities" - Nickname now applies to dating pool
Carlos Montalvo: "Bionic Gut" - We can rebuild him...
Chris O'Driscoll: "Fatty" - Mouth or gut, but can you outhit him?
Alexi Robins: "Antacid" - Needed for bigger gut than Fatty...
Scott Spencer: "Horsehide Magnet" - HBP is now the most exciting play ever
Phillipe Uharriet: "Beardful" - Do not stand within 100 yards while golfing
Doug Zeman: "Sexy Time" - Its not when you get there, it is how long you stay naked after
My only regret from this season was not having everyone together. As a coach, I certainly have many lessons to learn from this year. I certainly had a great time with all the guys on the team, and I hope that this is something to build on. I would like to thank everyone involved for bearing with me through the good and the bad, and I'd like to believe I can do a better job. That being said I present our dictatorial anointed award winners:
MVP: This was a tougher call than I had anticipated. Looking over both stats and what each player brought to the team, there were a lot of guys who ranked highly in my eyes. I am going to go with the reason the Chico Outlaws sucked this year. If it wasn't apparent already, then I will put a Red C on his uniform, Mac "Captain" Clonan. On a team of widely varied player priorities and player availability, Cap'n was a rock in the heart of the order, and wherever he might have been on the field. This guy will be coaching for the Academy of Art Baseball Team, and I have no doubt that his sense of humor and candor will be valuable assets. This award will be renamed the Thomas/Macauley in his honor .
Cy Young: Our greatest strength all year, our pitching was dominant. Another award that could have gone in several directions. When Halpern made the trip up the coast, he was perfect. Hando gave up 1 earned run in his first 30 innings. The Gambler scared the hell out of opposing lineups with his intensity and devastating change (Is that a splitter? It moves like one sometimes.). Cap'n came through in the most impossible of scenarios, but in the end it has to be our lefty, J-Hawk. For a guy who seemingly had an injury for every game (baseball related or not), the intestinal fortitude was enough to overcome any internal bleeding. Pitched his heart out even when the support wasn't there, and came through on the biggest stage. This award will be renamed the Purple Bicep in his honor.
Gold Glove: Yes, only one of these awards will be given out. This was a difficult situation all year, as people were thrown all over the diamond in an effort to get 9 people in positions that made a semblance of sense. On a team where defense served as the Achilles' heel, the bright spots really stick out. PU and his laser cannon in RF were good for about a million outfield assists, I'm tired of talking about Mac, Justin was amazing on the mound, BK1 was a beast when in the OF, but Eli Kollman was the glue that held this team together on D. Silky smooth at SS, simply sweet slinging seeds smartly to 1st sack. Sssssolid. This award will be renamed the Respec' Futbol in his honor.
Linchpin: Mac did a lot of work for this team, great stats, inspirational, and all that other bullshit. There was a player who was strongly considered for every award on this list, and that in itself is an amazing achievement worthy of recognition. This guy had his whole season mapped out for him by his coach, and then had it systematically rearranged every week. The punches were rolled with, and the performance he turned in was astounding. In the heart of the order, on the mound, behind the dish, in the OF, at 1B and even a little 3rd, Rich "Danger" Gamble was the man this year. Specializing in clutch hits and gutsy performances, his intense demeanor was fascinating and frightening, and the laugh is contagious. This award will be renamed the Greenleaf Memorial in his honor.
Regional Final: Storm Vs. Topes
League Championship Series
And so the season comes to an unsatisfying end. The Storm fall a game short of reaching the championship series. Hats off to the Isotopes, who came out firing on all cylinders. Conversely, we came out with vapor lock, a bid timing belt, missing some pistons, and a few thrown rods. It is a hard pill to swallow; knowing we were missing key players, dealing with crazy schedules, and general disarray. All that aside, we did not do what it takes, and the 'Topes did.
Rather than focus on what we did wrong (a lot), I would like to remember this about the last series. We had 3 horses take the mound 2 days, all of them pitching complete games, all of them very effective. Hando, J-Hawk, and Danger spun their magic like they have all year. In true Storm fashion, we gave up 13 runs in 3 games, all but 3 were unearned. While I feel Hando and Rich were slighted by their defense, what I can't help but wax poetic about was J-Hawk's performance in game 2.
As has been previously belabored, J-Hawk has had an interesting year. Game 2 of this series had the potential for heartbreak (we were facing elimination), so naturally coach threw his go to guy all year. J-Hawk proceeded to dazzle the Isotopes with his crafty approached that most couldn't help but notice included some increased velocity when the count reached 2 strikes. In my 4 years of watching the Isotopes, I have always marveled at their ability to hit in the clutch and take advantage of other teams' mistakes. I feel that this is precisely what made this performance so incredible. The warrior spirit shined through multiple times. The shot off the left bicep by Geoff Sandin looked like Dr. James Andrews' wet dream, but our plucky protagonist hopped on the ball like a cat, flipped it to first while while professing his love for pain/competition in his terrible yell, finishing the game with a flourish. When the defense faltered, our lefty simply carried the team on his back and got out of a 2nd and 3rd with no out, 1 run lead situation.
Despite these and other heroics, we fell in the best of 3 series. Small silver lining? We were the first team to beat the Isotopes all year. Ah, fuck it. That doesn't help at all.
Next Time:
AZ Tourny
Semi-Final: Storm Vs. Benders
The Storm earned a first round "bye" for winning their division, and played on Sunday. The manager went to watch the Storm's likely opponents, the Benders play a do or die to reach the next round on Saturday. Throughout the game, the manager carefully scrutinized his opponent, looking for a chink in the armor. After carefully compiling copious notes, the manager left them sitting on the sun-drenched bleachers while obtaining a Jamba Juice. When he returned, the bleacher denizens had found and replaced them with a hastily drawn caricature of the manager and several barn animals. Savages.
The manager departed the Benders game to a last minute practice assembled the day before, surprisingly attended by 3/4 of the active roster. Tyler Axelrod returned to the fold, having been absent due to starring in a motion capture project (I wish I could have seen the spandex suit with motion sensor balls, sigh), winsome and self-effacing as usual (falsehood). An silently repetitive infield/outfield led to a exhausting session of BP in the blazing (WTF?) afternoon sun at West Sunset.
Oh, and we played a game on Sunday. In normal Storm fashion we were missing Hando, Grizzle, Halpern, and just to get a chuckle out of my team, Jami James (I want to believe).
The Benders threw "The Lefty". Who? Some kid, Rob Ellis, a fire balling lefty who had embarrassed the Storm earlier in the season by striking out 14 in 6 innings, leaving the game only because he was rattled by the open weeping in the Storm dugout, after which he left the land of amateurs to be the go to guy in the bullpen for the Chico Outlaws in the Golden Baseball League (the Pat Sajak one). Of the 6 games we lost this year, this was the only one I felt we were beaten, rather than losing through our own folly. So you might say the anticipation level was high for this one.
The Storm countered with their own lefty, the mighty J-Hawk. Justin spent the regular season as the main man on the mound, appearing in 15 games, starting 6 of them. Justin has constantly been thrown out there against our toughest opponents and has dominated, only to have taken some tough losses and lost some wins to vultures. Would today be an exception? Sadly, no.
The game started in a rough fashion, with Aaron Wing of the Benders suffering what appears to be a grievous injury to his arm, he was taken to the hospital during pregame warm ups. I hope everything turns out well. The game started poorly for the Storm, with Benders leadoff pest Gary Kirven singling up the middle, and scoring before the inning ended. Not a good sign when you count every run knowing who toes the slab for the opponent. Ellis started off the bottom of the first with a run of the mill K. Fatty O'Driscoll draws a walk, BK1 gets hit by a pitch. Another strikeout, would the early rally go to waste? Not if Danger has anything to say about it. A quick aside:
Rich "Danger" Gamble has been a revelation this year. Started several games on the hill early in the year, due to the thinking that Mac Clonan would only be around to catch for the first few games, and that Rich would be needed behind the dish the rest of the time. Dominant on the mound, a cat behind the plate, and the best clutch hitter we had all year. The manager was puzzled by his closed stance, wondering how he intended to hit an inside fastball. Rest assured gentle reader, the manager has no such doubt any longer.
Danger smoked a double over the CF to plate BK1 and Fatty. Set the tone why don't you! 2-1 Storm. The bottom of the 2nd found the Storm plating 4 more runs. Line shots of varying lengths were sprayed in the gaps, perhaps the Storm had knocked the lefty out early? 6-1 Storm after 2 innings.
A fairly common trait of the Storm this year has been to jump out early in games, and then become complacent, easing up on offense and becoming lackadaisical on defense. Today was no exception. Other than a few impressive shots off the bat of Mike Hamill and Erik Wanner, J-Hawk gave up nothing significant, yet the Benders kept chipping away thanks to inconsistent defense. The Benders put up 5 runs in 4 innings, due to: Grounder through legs, 2 dropped force out throws, poor communication by the left fielder (cough), and suddenly the score is tied, 6-6 at the end of 6.
Once again, the Storm looked to Danger Gamble to set a tone. Replacing a (understandably) frustrated J-Hawk (remember the first game against the Benders, it must have been rough living through an eerily similar situation...thanks for not losing it this time, sweetie) on the hill, Danger set to work with his heat and the nasty change of pace. Other than the occasional control problem, Danger kept the Benders from maintaining the Ju-Ju/Voodoo/Santeria that they had employed on the Storm gloves/bats from innings 3-6.
In the bottom of the 7th, the Storm received a lucky break, with a runner on 2nd and one out, Danger popped the ball up in front of the mound. The Lefty called for the ball, but couldn't make the play. Robins managed to sneak a grounder up the middle plating the runner from 2nd, giving the Storm a 7-6 lead.
Gamble continued his work in the top of the 8th, with every batter being an opportunity for the Benders to tie the game. Danger does it, and we go to the bottom of the 8th clinging to our slim lead. Then the bats came alive again, With BK1 and Fatty coming through with some extremely clutch boom shots. On to the top of the 9th, Storm lead 9-6.
Sounds safe, yes? Of course not, don't be stupid. The Gambler starts the inning off by striking out Wanner, a huge 1st out. Then came the acid indigestion for coach, as the next two batters walked. Tyler Axelrod warmed up in the 'pen, and with the count on the next hitter 3-2, the tension was high. It will be noted that the manager was going to pull Gamble if that batter had reached base, but Danger would have none of that, blowing the hitter away, and the next one to boot. Game over, Storm win.
This game had some downside. The defense wasn't great, the bats fell asleep in the middle innings. Oh yeah, and BK1 got picked off 2nd in a tie game. Dumbass. That's about all I have to say in regards to the negatives.
We hit. We hit arguably the best pitcher in the league over the last 3 years. Special mention to BK1, Fatty, Mac, and Danger for making us look extra scary at the plate. Eli did the work at shortstop again, anchoring the infield.
J-Hawk and Danger, separated at birth, now have some bitter blood, with Rich stealing Justin's hard earned W. They both did a great job, it just goes to show that the team likes Rich better, because they play better defense behind him.
Next Week:
Best of Three vs. Isotopes Flood Park 10am & 2pm games 1 and 2 Respectively
Game 3 at (TBD) if necessary and i think that might be the case.
Week 21: Weak Storm Still Unearths Blue Claws
What Happened To Our Team?:
Last week of the regular season, Storm need to win to make sure they hold on to the Division lead. Blue Claws had just played the front end of their doubleheader and had lost their chance at the playoffs, even quipping to the Storm coach to finish the game early so they could go drink. Just goes to show what jerks we are, we made them play a nail biter to end the regular season. Fortunately, we won 3-2.
I would like to take this opportunity to rag on my players. Your job is to make the coach's life easier. And you didn't. At all. we finished the regular season 13-6-1. I can only think of about 4 or so games that were decided by more than 4 runs. What the hell? I turn 30 in September and I thought it was my wife and kids who were making me go gray with a receding hairline. Nay, it is my players, who seem to delight in raising my anxiety level to unknown heights over AMATEUR baseball. Damn your favorite team to an existence of 1-1 games in the 7th inning with the pennant on the line, every day! I can say that on this team because there appears to be a significant amount of Storm players who are not in fact Giants' fans. Boo.
Notables:
J-Hawk: 9 inning complete game, 11K, 5 hits, no BB. Caps off a great regular season on the mound. In a league like ours, someone who can throw like he does without walking people is such a boon. Great work.
Danger Gamble: Dislocated, discolored, discombobulated ankle. Rich fouled a ball off the inside of his ankle late in the game, and still stayed behind the dish. I saw the ankle two weeks later, looked gangrenous. Rich has his meds.
BK1: 2-4, BB, 4 SB. 'Atta girl.
Next Week:
Off then the playoffs. Likely against the Benders. Go team.
Week 20: Beaver Dam Holds Against Wussy Storm
Ughh!:
Sure, sometimes we show up to games a bit short-handed. We rarely play to our ability when we do. It might leave a poor taste in the mouth, but sometimes there are other things that have a higher priority than baseball (not that I would know anything about it). When attendance is poor, the people that do participate have the satisfaction of knowing they are having more fun than those who are absent. But not on this day.
10 Storm players showed up to face one of the better teams in the league, the Beavers (snort!). J-Hawk straddled the mound with his usual swagger, and threw 8 innings of dominant baseball, giving up 1 run on a few dinky singles. The Storm were flustered by the lefty for the Beavers for 7 innings, so when the Beavers swapped pitchers, sighs were heard all around...until we saw yet another hard-throwing southpaw.
Hando came in to relieve Justin of the unenviable job of throwing up zeros, while waiting for a sign of life from the Storm offense. No dice. Hando, who had earlier informed his coach of arm soreness and a desire to only throw about three innings, shut out the Beavers for 5 innings. In the top of the 14th it became apparent that his arm just didn't have much left, as suddenly the fastballs lost some velocity and the breaking stuff lost some bite.
The Storm finally answered back with a couple of runs in the bottom of the 14th, but too little too late. I think the score was 4-3, but I wouldn't know because we were too busy filing scenes for the next revival of M*A*S*H*. Instead of noting the great performances, I will list the injuries of the game:
Notables:
J-Hawk: Punctured lung, broken hand, frayed rotator cuff, shattered psyche. Went and begged for medical treatment form a happy group enjoying a picnic by the field. The group then packed up and left after seeing J-Hawk's shattered frame.
Danger Gamble: Dislocated, discolored, discombobulated ankle. Rich fouled a ball off the inside of his ankle late in the game, and still stayed behind the dish. I saw the ankle two weeks later, looked gangrenous. Rich has his meds.
BK1: Torn ulnar collateral ligament (Tommy John), torn meniscus, fractured pelvis. Heh.
Big Sissy Robins: Pulled his hamstring chasing after a foul ball, interrupted J-Hawk's last rites to get him out to LF to replace him. Then had to go replace J-Hawk after his soul departed his body with 1 out in the 113531th inning.
Next Week:
Sunday 8/24/08 vs. Blue Claws at Big Rec Park 12pm
Week 19: Now That's More Like It!
Back at Home Sweet Home:
On this very warm day The Storm took the field more than determined without our Fats-O, our Rock at the cleanup spot and our Burly Lumberjack in the middle of the order. The important crewmen gutted out a performance that was workmanlike and blue collar to the bone. Although our bats didn't come alive until the latter stages of the game, the seesaw battle quickly ended as The Storms' fat as-es impaled the grass and flung the Blazers into the air, extinguishing any rallies our opponents had planned up their sleeves.
Notables:
Kevin Anderson: Starts the game and puts forth a great effort on the bump. Holding the tough hitters from the Blazers' close. He also steals a bag and wraps a 2-4 scoring once. Nice job!
Ben Kamekona: With a fizzling start almost like the 5 year old Tab in the back of my fridge but alas clutched it up with a huge 2 RBI single (3 RBI's on the day) to put us ahead for good. Golf Clap!!!!
Jeff Graham: Turns in the best hitting line of the day with a 3-4 and scored once and shakes hands with the other team at the end of the game while he bronzes himself like a turn-of-the-century spartan shield. What a multi-tasker!
Justin Hawkins: The leadoff man comes up huge with 2 RBI's, scored once and stole 2 bags, not to mention getting the win in three innings of relief, Striking out 3.
Lastly;
Eli Kollman; Had a monster day as well getting a triple going 2-4 with three scores and 2 stolen bases.
Of course the rest of the Crew did a great job out there and came through defensively and offensively. We left only seven runners on base the whole game and scored 9 runs. We have to keep this up to make some noise in the playoffs we'll need all hands on deck ready to go. The fun begins now and boy winning is FUN!!!! Let's DO IT
Next Week:
Sunday 8/17/08 vs. Beavers at Washington Park 2pm
Week 18: Diablos Exact Revenge
There are no notables to this game except rolling over and dying like prairie dogs lying in a desert with no food or drink. Is this how we're going to end the season? Stay tuned...
Next Week:
Sunday 8/10/08 vs. Blazers at Washington Park 10am
Week 17: Category 4 Forces Sea Lions Ashore
Contrary to last weeks debauchle in the wind and fog of Daly City's finest High School Ball field (Westmoor), we actually caught a glimpse of the sun... what? Yeah I know sun in Daly City, can you believe this? I guess my brethren decided to eat out and leave the rice cookers on stand by.
Any ways we faced the Sea Lions at beautiful Marchbanks Field. The grass was plenty fruitful swallowing up hard shots that would've gone for doubles into singles and seeing eye singles into doubles. Weird freakin' crap huh? The recipe was right for aggressive baserunning and runs aplenty, It was time to play Storm Baseball and the fences played a big role...
Everyone contributed to this win, A little nostalgia with the Return of Chris "Fats-" O'Driscoll staying true to form grand slamming a ball over the 325' mark. Welcome back meat! Then you had Mac "The Rock" Clonan doing what he always does, driving in 3 on a 3 for 4 day, but the real game ball goes to Kevin "Spackler" Anderson. Seriously a 4 for 6 with a walk-off 3 run gofer dome snipe shot that did a job not even our favorite Caddyshack gardener could accomplish.
Other Notables:
Phillipe "Le France" Uharriet makes a 3 Run deposit over the left field wall getting us off to the right start it would've been perfect if he had a cig in his mouth after rounding first, viva la fran.....
Justin "Trooper" Hawkins takes a ball off his elbow, another off his back on a pick-off move, and the third off his foot. This guy took more balls than.... ahh forget it. Seriously, had a hand setting us up for a big answer in the 1st and 3 runs overall in the game as he came up big in the leadoff spot again.
Rich "Danger" Gamble with 8 innings pitched and 3 earned runs, an RBI single to prevent an o-fer
Eli "Slugga" Kollman went off for a 3 for 4 performance with 2 doubles, a stolen base and 2 runs quickly atoning for the error that he had. Good defensive job as usual
Overall great performance with folks slugging the crap out of the ball and setting the right tone as we head for this home stretch. Our motto from this point "Finish Strong"
Next Week:
Sunday 8/03/08 Rematch of the Diablos at Balboa Park 12pm
Week 16: Storm Edge Diablos in a Game of Unearned Runs
Back at the dreaded hellhole that is Westmoor HS, the Storm prevailed over the Diablos 5-4. This game certainly did not continue the positive trend from the last few weeks, furthering the theory that the smaller the turnout for the Storm, the worse they do (11). The defense took a step back; errors aplenty. The offense regressed; multiple first pitch pop-ups, little patience overall. A win is a win however, and we want to hold on to first place, we'll have to get it done any way we can. The Legends are a game and a half behind us, and we have a rough road ahead of us.
Beacons in the Fog: I can only guess what to write here because the gentle gray mist obscured so much. It was cold and lonely out in LF, and I only had my imagination to keep me company.
Kevin "Hando" Anderson: The fastball is seen only by the eagle-eyed catcher. The curve/slider darts from fog patch to fog patch. Some folks on this team refuse to call him by his nickname (why would that be?), but his performance on the mound this year may entitle him to more subservience on the part of the players. Complete game, no earned runs. That'll do. This guy has given up one earned run in 28 innings. "Hando" is a name you can trust to finish it off...sorry for that.
Jeff "Grizzle" Graham: In Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, Nuclear Man's powers dissipated when the sun's rays were obscured. So why the hell didn't Superman bury the elevator he had trapped his foe in underground when he got to the moon? He just leaves it there, doesn't even cover it up with dirt. He just re-plants the American flag and flies off! With a booming RBI double and a single, our gentle giant reminds us all that even when there is no bronzing agent in sight, some mythical beings still shine through.
Justin "Rickey" Hawkins: Doing the job at leadoff, with a twist. He knocks in runs when crunch time strikes. Two hits (a hit is a hit, even if no one can see the ball), a RBI, and a HBP. Handled center field with grace (a guess, as he could not be seen from anywhere on the field. Perhaps he was on his cell phone with Bambi. Come on dude, we're trying to win ballgames here, whisper sweet nothings to your girl some other time. Even tried to pull off a bunt single, but his prowess is nothing compared to...
Lex "Boom Pow Surprise" Robins: Catching the Diablos' D by surprise, Lex dropped down a super sweet bunt. The devil must have felt sorry for his namesakes, for he breathed a fog-laden gust at the 3rd base line preventing the ball from staying fair. Jealous much, Lucifer? Scored two and looks like he can hit again. Stayed hydrated by storing the fog in his beard and saving it for his furious trips around the bases.
Doug "Bucky" Zeman: 2 hits, and a Top Gun entrance 3 seconds before game time. Really looked ready in the field despite his tardiness (staying in SF and still can't show up on time?)...no, I can't lie. Looked asleep at the switch for the first two plays. Probably thought he was still on the road, avoiding the ball with his glove like a motorcycle guy, you know, not trying to hit stuff...yeah.
SFNABA All-Star Game:
The Storm representatives made quite an impression. Other than Rich "Danger" Gamble shi--ing the bed on the mound for an inning, our boys were perfect. 8 plate appearances, 8 times on base. Mac "Cap'n" Clonan (did you know Mac thinks the words I use are too long and hard to understand? This guy went to Wesleyan for chrissakes'!) hit cleanup and had 2 hits and an RBI. Rich picked up an undeserving win with a blown lead on the mound (to be fair, he hadn't medicated in a few minutes or something, all jittery and clear-eyed, poor sweetie), and smoked a single after the ump wouldn't give him first on a HBP. J-Hawk smacked a single and pitched a scoreless inning.
Next week:
Sea Lions at Marchbank Park, 2PM. Still in must win mode, but maybe some of the pressure will be off now that we are on a nice field. Seriously, Westmoor? Dignity and protocol prevent me from saying any more about that field. At least we aren't playing there anymore. Once again, we will be shorthanded, please make every effort to show up on time at such a nice field, in the afternoon, with ample parking.
Week 15: "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold..." Khan Star Trek II
The Storm took a two week hiatus to reflect on their place in the macroverse. After suffering defeat at the hands of the Grizzlies and Baysox back to back, the schedule smiled upon the Storm; bequeathing us with a chance to right the wrongs of shoddy defense and a lack of clutch hitting. Caloo Calay! Sweet merciful Lady Justice saw fit to bestow our gloves with horsehide magnets, and cork our bats with lumber steroids! We have defeated the Grizzles and Bay Sox in back to back games, with great gusto.
The manager jumped the gun last week in his praise of the Storm's defensive prowess. A certain blind-in-his-left-eye oak tree threw the ball away on an attempted double play, marring what would have been a perfect defensive game. Despite the best efforts of a certain fiery-tempered-lefty-moundsmith-turned outfielder, and a certain hulking-catcher-moundsmith-slow-bastard, the Storm made not a single miscue in the field. At West Sunset no less, not a place conducive to true hops. Many good things happened on Sunday, but that was by far the most impressive.
The Bringers of Vengeance:
Justin "The Ringer" Halpern: A second straight dominant outing. 7 innings, 2 runs, 4 hits, a walk (1st batter if the game), 2 strikeouts. This guy has pitched 3 games, and has 3 wins, 'nuff said.
Rich "Danger" Gamble: Can't look much better at the plate than that, even the outs were stung. Monster bases loaded triple, which would have been a grand slam if Rich hadn't stopped to wait for a mama duck and her chicks to cross the base line between 2nd and 3rd. Let it not be said that Rich is indifferent to the little critters of the world (except Ben). Threw a scoreless 9th to bring it home.
Eli "The Viz" Kollman: See the nickname implies relation to both Vizquel, and Ozzie Smith (The Wizard). It's simple; when Eli is at shortstop we play a hell of a lot better on D. Made the heads up play of the year by managing to pick has jaw up off the floor and throw out the runner at first when Bucky got dizzy looking at a pop up and curled into the fetal position, sucking his thumb. Turned the doubleplays, snared the liners, associates with known Dodger fans(?!?).
Other Deliverymen:
Scott "Shoulder Chip" Spencer: RBI double, makes manger look bad...Ben "OG Sweetie" Kamekona: RBI single, two stolen bases, looks bad on his own...Lex "About Time" Robins stretches a double that should've been a triple and two singles, stolen base...Mac "Glue" Clonan: a double, stolen base, caught stealing (one good one bad)...Kevin "Hando" Anderson: sac fly, two singles...Justin "Rickey" Hawkins reaches base 3 times without a hit, steals two bags, RBI, 3 runs scored. now that's a leadoff hitter...
Next week:
Saturday 10AM at Westmoor. Ugh. Versus the Diablos. Let's keep a good thing going.
Week 13: Storm Forces Grizzlies To Early Hybernation
The first of two rematch games against opponents who have bested us this year. Let us hope that the next one goes as well as this one did. An almost full roster makes a world of difference, and it showed today. Why did we turn the tables?
Our gunslinger from the badlands of Southern Cali, Justin "Cheshire Sleeves" Halpern made the start, and was nasty all day, allowing a few scratch hits and not much else. An amazing 6 assists for Halpern, thanks to a diving two-seamer that could not be hit any further than our capable starter's glove. A dominating effort: 7 innings, 6 hits, 1 BB, 1 HPB, 6 K, 0 runs.
The return of some key members to the lineup. Chris "Fatty" O'Driscoll, leadoff hitter extraordinaire; getting on base, scoring runs. Doug "Bucky" Zeman knocking the ball into the alley, plating 3. Eli "Dutch Master" Kollman returned from Europe and brought back defensive harmony to the infield.
Some of the old guard (can we have an old guard if we haven't existed for more than half a season?): Scott "Pieces of Flare" Spencer with 2 knocks, Kevin "Hando" Anderson with a 1B, 3B, 3 runs scored, and 2 innings with 3 K and nothing else to end the game.
The manager was hasty in his accolades to the team. We did in fact commit an error during the game, Jeff "Grizzle" Graham got greedy trying to turn a double play on a line drive. Boo him, I say.
Next week:
The rematch with the Bay Sox. We lost a tough one to these guys, 3-2. I bet no one on this team knew those runs were unearned. Did you know that? Because I could tell you again if you like. Like every loss we have, we gave it away. Let's keep this massive 2 game win streak going.
Week 12: Late Rally Pulls Storm Out of The Doldrums
Finally, the libel (or is it slander that is written, I can never remember) can end, for the most part. The Storm win for the first time in a month, and it was a rough ride for the most part. It appeared that through the first 5 innings that we were under some sort of hex (perhaps a jilted lover). Every ball that touched the earth off the bats of the Blazers made a loud clanking sound on the Storm's leather. Bases full of Stormites weren't emptied.
Lo and behold, great things were to be seen if anyone were willing to stick around on a gray day at West Sunset. More great pitching, some clutch hitting, and fine defense. Sound like two different games? Yar, it were. Who made the difference?
Justin "5 Tool (could mean so many things)" Hawkins: What did he do? Hit leadoff, played center, picked up a save. At the plate: 2-4 with 2 R, BB and 2 SB. On the mound: 3 innings, 2 K, 1 H. Blue Diamonds, Green Clovers, Purple Horseshoes, and whatever other crap is in there.
Ben "OG Sweetie" Kamekona: Despite being hobbled, came up big at the plate. 3-4, 2 2B, BB, and his first RBI of the year, wtf? Will not be able to shut up about how well he did, that's just how he is and we have to get used to it. Grow up, gimp.
Mac "Stat Hound" Clonan: How much does this guy care about stats? Enough to manipulate the game to make his numbers look good. He didn't go 2-3 with a HR, 2 RBI, and 2 BB for the team. Nay! He is a selfish player, who even moves out from behind the dish and does the job at other positions in order to make himself look more versatile. Jerk.
Tyler "Antagonist" Axelrod: 6 strong innings despite some external hardships. Maybe his team wasn't trying their best for him. He seemed to be in the middle of several pregame scrums, at least, I think they were scrums. They involved a lot of squealing and girlish laughter, which I don't normally associate with rugby, so maybe it wasn't a scrum after all. I still respect you, Peaches.
,
Our last 2 games, we have given up 6 runs and lost one of them. Oh, and none of those runs were earned. Let's get this defense working.
Next week:
Rematch against the Grizzlies at on Sunday at 12PM, at Balboa. They beat the crap out of us 3 weeks ago. After that, the Baysox, who nipped us 2 weeks ago. Some payback is in order, let's build off the last 4 innings of this one.
Week 11: Not Good At All...
Another Storm loss, 3-2. Shall we blame injuries, illness, and absences? Nay, 'twas the bats and defense that were our downfall. Our shoddy play has produced (shockingly) poor results. We haven't won in a month, and our road isn't getting any easier, as we will be revisiting the 2 teams that humbled us the last two weeks starting June 29.
David Bowie's Heroes:
Justin "Positive Outlook" Hawkins: Complete game mastery, except for the 3 unearned runs...
Mac "Guts" Clonan: 2-3, 2BB. Fine work in the middle of the diamond.
Must right the ship, must right the ship, must right the ship, must right the ship, must right the ship, must right the ship, must right the ship, must right the ship...
Next week:
Sunday, 3PM at West Sunset against the Blazers.
Week 10: Not Even Capt. Jack Sparrow Could've Saved This Sinking Ship
Atrocious, abominable, awful, dreadful, painful, terrible, unspeakable. A few words to describe the afterbirth on Axe's sock after the game. These words could also describe our performance in general. There were a few bright spots, but this game was poorly played any way you look at it. Horrible clutch hitting, shaky defense, and spotty pitching led to our downfall. The 10 man skeleton crew was more than equipped to handle the Grizzlies, but we tossed our abilities out the window, up in the air, like so many pop-ups (and there were so many, right coach?). So we lose the effing game 10-6.
Because I strive for the whole story, I present The Silver Linings...complete with Touches of Gray (And if your feelings are hurt, you know you couldn't have sucked worse than your manager did today):
Scott "Desperately Flummoxed" Spencer:
Quote: "Lex, maybe you should try for a HBP"
2 BB, RBI, and a 1B...which was quickly erased when he was thrown out trying to stretch it to a 2B. Throw an error and a couple of pop-ups.
Phillipe "Quietly Flailing" Uharriet:
Inner Voice: "Why is Lex always talking about my beard, is that all I am to him?"
Had a BB, plus a great running catch out in left...plus an o-fer with a couple of pop-ups.
Mac "Forcefully Eroding " Clonan:
Quote: "Took myself out of it by hacking at first pitch slop"
3 absolute rockets (2 x 2B), serious ownage in his first 3 trips to the plate...and a backwards K, with an error of his own.
Doug "Helplessly Declining" Zeman:
Inner Voice: "I wonder if Grizzle's delts and lats look as good as mine...whoops, here comes high cheddar!"
Monster 3B, BB, HBP...and an error, and a couple of pop-ups.
Lex "Constantly Failing" Robins:
Quote: "I just want to cry"
2 RBI, 1B...and led the game with 4 infield pop-ups. Even after being threatened with forced exercise should another pop-up happen...pop-up. Pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-up pop-uppop-up pop-up pop-up pop-uppop-up pop-uppop-uppop-uppop-upPOP-UPPOP-UPPOP-UPPOP-UP!!!!1one1!1eleven11!!1!
Jeff "Disgustingly Pedestrian" Graham:
Inner voice: "I'd rather be bronzing, or at least at the opera"
BB, SF, 2B...K, pop-up, and wounded gazelle mobility out in right.
Carlos "Often Disappointing" Montalvo:
Inner Voice: "Which sucked worse, stomach surgery, or this game?"
1B...and 4 ABs of outs.
Eli "Conveniently Repulsive" Kollman:
Quote: "How the f@#& did I miss that?"
3B, 1B, great defensive plays...and a couple of Ks.
Justin "Thoroughly Distasteful" Hawkins:
Inner Voice: "We can suck even if I'm not on the mound"
2 x 1B, BB, Scoreless inning on the mound...and an error in CF, with a K to boot.
Graham "Sustainably Bad" Chong:
Inner Voice: "Don't I have somewhere else to be?"
Showed up for his teammates even though he was supposed to be somewhere else...grounded to the pitcher, then ran away crying like a pansy.
Tyler "Virtually Worthless" Axelrod:
Inner Voice: "Boy, Lex is going to tear me a new one in the recap."
6 innings with just an unearned run, a BB at the ...and 2 innings of 9 run hysteria, with a K at the plate.
...And that should cover it.
Next week:
Sunday, 2PM at Balboa against the Baysox. Let's try not to suck.
Week 9: Storm Feeling A Little Gray
Everyone stop what you are doing and make out with your sister. Done? Very well. A tie is just too hard to walk away from. I was hoping we could try and reschedule this mess and have a resolution, but the standings page at sfnaba.com says otherwise.
We have been and will continue to be short handed lately. Everyone stop living your real world lives and come get lost in the Super-Happy-Funtime-Land of Baseball, especially when we play top seeded teams.
Poor clutch hitting did us in this week. Only 4 members of the storm had a hit.
I have been reading on the Trojan War, hence this weeks nicknames...
The Mightiest of the Mighty:
Tyler "Achilles" Axelrod: 7 innings, 7 K, 2 BB, 3 of the scratchiest scratch hits, 2 unearned runs. Dominant in his first start. His heel? A coach's broken promise of hitting him cleanup (given the alternative and Tyler's poise on the day, coach should have had him hit in the big spots).
Mac "Odysseus" Clonan: Our prodigal son returns, much to our benefit. A mammoth 2 run HR, that gave us the lead in the 3rd inning. Damn, that ball got up and into the great wild yonder in a hurry. Even though the LF chased it down some 425ft. away, Mac had ample time to cross the plate on a platinum platter (generously carved from a certain cleanup hitter's leftovers). But wait, there's more. What fireballing closer dreams of coming in to a ballgame with no one out with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 9th in a tie ballgame? Mo Rivera? Billy Wagner? Guts Clonan! Strikeout, pop up, tapper to the mound ended the nightmare. Balls of.......(again) platimun.
Phillipe "Hector" Uharriet: The Trojan hero incarnate (Striking resemblance to that heartthrob actor from Troy and Hulk). Has been on fire since returning from a hiatus, taking over the leadoff role by reaching base 9 out of 10 plate appearances. Owns the 3rd base line, 3 2B on the day, each one appearing to whisper-kiss the chalk.
Other heroes of note: Chris "Big Ajax" O'Driscoll with an RBI 2B, Eli "Hermes" Kollman with a hit and some good glove work.
The Guys Who Fell For the Whole Horse Thing:
Doug "The Sickly Hoplite" Zeman: Bucky admitted his weakness, yet was still pressed into battle. He cried ill to his merciless liege mid-week, but Lex "Agamemnon" Robins was desperately short on soldiers. The Platinum Sombrero and 2 unearned runs are on the shoulders of the selfish king. Justin "Cassandra" Hawkins had the power of foresight in the 8th inning, but the madness of his magic was his undoing for a single run in the 9th.
Next GAME:
The Grizzlies on Saturday, 2PM at Balboa Park. One of these days we will 3/4 of our team out there...
Week 8: Storm Bounce Back, Prayers Answered At Marin Catholic HS
The Storm traveled to Kentfield to take on the 2nd place Legends, a mere game behind the Ocean East throne. The manager had his doubts after last week's lackluster performance, but several good omens made themselves visible before the game.
1) The manager and his cohorts picked up a fashionably dressed "tennis player" in "shorts" on the way. No, not for a good time. It was Eli "Mrs. Daisy" Kollman, whom if you haven't noticed by now has travel arrangements almost as complicated as Bucky's excuses for his tardiness/absence. Eli claims there was some sort of "event" that necessitated his "costume". Bay To Something or Other.
2) The weather. Nothing like driving across the Golden Gate Bridge and not being able to see the towers as you pass them, then suddenly emerging into the perpetual early summer sunshine of Marin. San Franciscans, please pay your Fog Tax.
3) The aforementioned Doug "Bucky" Zeman showed up at 3:10PM. This actually worked out well as the game started at 4PM. Bucky tried to claim that it was intentional, but all could see he clearly was unaccustomed to the idea of "warming up". With such mirth and joy, how could things go wrong?
Notable highlights from:
Justin "Parental Advisory" Hawkins: Picks up his 2nd win with 6 innings of 1 run ball. If he was not thrilled with some early defensive miscues, he did what a good teammate does: gave encouragement to all, did his job, and played grabass with his coach. Only 3 hits allowed, 1 of the scratch variety.
Phillipe "Beardful" Uharriet: Back from a 2 week absence (he actually did Mother's Day stuff instead of play baseball, we should all be ashamed) with a vengeance. 2 hits, 2 BB, and an RBI. Also another patented "Antacid" play on a shot to left by the masher in the cleanup spot for the Legends. Sigh...
Lex "Sustainably Bad" Robins: 2 hits, 2 BB, 4 runs scored, all hustle all the time. Jokes in the dugout regarding needing oxygen are not welcomed.
Jeff "Grizzle" Graham: A moon shot 3B to CF, continuing a trend of Storm hitters hitting their bombs to the wrong part of the field. Grizzle's a big boy, but 600 ft. to center might be shooting to high (prove me wrong, please)
Rich "Danger" Gamble: 2 hits, 2 RBI. This guy is clutch. As a bonus, perhaps the slowest stolen base ever recorded in the history of this great game. Rich got a great jump...on a pitcher who had a fantastically slow delivery, who happened to be throwing his slowest hook...and still made it somewhat interesting.
Carlos "Bionic Gut" Montalvo: First game back, hit the ball well. RBI single, BB. The manager will be setting up foot races between 'Los and Danger, odds will be posted, all bets will be honored.
Graham "Sustainably Stupid" Chong: H.RBI.BB. No, not a hit, run batted in and a walk, different acronym. He Really Bad In BaseBall. Graham maintains this site, I just do the writing. So he is insulting himself...ok, that really was his offensive production, that was just my offensive reduction (of his athletic prowess!)...
Scott "Pain Monger" Spencer: Made his manager look bad for not starting him with an RBI single, and then to punctuate the point, broke his bat and left a sharpened stake quivering near the 3rd base line, a message if ever I saw one. Did not get hit by a pitch.
Tyler "Patience" Axelrod: Nice debut on the mound, nasty stuff. Risked the wrath of the holy roamin' umpire by daring to start his windup while the batter was entrenched firmly within the batter's box, the sun in the sky, and the world spinning on its axis. How dare he!
Next GAME:
For the last time, WE ARE NOT playing Memorial Day weekend! Our next game is against the Grays in 2 weeks. Saturday 5/31 at 3PM at Riordan High School. Gut-Check-Game for Danger, Parental Advisory, Sustainably Stupid and OG Sweetie, who won't be there, along with Hando and Grizzle?!? The manager will be looking to acquire some replacement players, like those 11 year old kids who had the field before us. Maybe if I treat them like their coaches did, I can scare them into service.
Week 7: Storm "Bend-Over" For Benders
The Good: BK1 and Danger had 2 hits apiece, J. Hawk and Hando combined for 16 Ks in 8 innings.
The Bad: Those hits plus Grizzle's "2B" were all the offense we could muster. The defense dropped the ball (pun). Erik Wanner!
The Ugly: Rob Ellis threw 6 innings...and struck out 15 batters. That's right, we had 3 batted outs while he was on the mound.
The Ugliest: Our dugout was a low place to be. The manager is responsible for keeping things together, he failed. He is sorry.
We were ill prepared and overmatched. We have played 2 of the best teams in the league and have lost in unspectacular fashion both times. We need to work on losing in a more spectacular fashion. And that is all I have to say about that.
Next Week:
4PM vs. Legends @ Marin Catholic High School
Week 6: Hando Throws Storms First Shutout of Season
On a bitter, cold, dry, dusty, windy (insert other negative descriptors here) day, the Storm and the Red Giants clashed on the top of an abandoned teenage internment camp in the ass-end of the greater SF area (Westmoor High). The previous guests of this facility were likely paraded around the outfield with blindfolds on, to break their ankles in the gopher holes that littered the dying earth. Another method of torture may have included the removal of the guests' eyelids, then being tied to the backstop facing the pitcher's mound while the ocean breezes reached their violent crescendo, driving wave after wave of chalky alkali tinged dust into their exposed orbs of vision. Also included may have been trigonometry.
Despite Mother Nature's betrayal of her offspring, the Storm triumphed in the eerie purgatory that was Sunday the 4th. A dominant performance on the mound, timely hitting, and the usual adequate defense. Every player in the in the lineup reached base safely, and everyone had a hit except Doug "Bucky" Zeman, who complained of an official scoring error (it was not an error, it was done intentionally because he is abandoning us for next week's Gut-Check-Game, bastard).
Highlights:
Kevin "Hando" Anderson: Just filthy on the mound. 7 inning complete game shutout with 9 K, 4 BB, and 2 hits. The manager wishes he had brought his camera to record some of the swingthroughs generated by the breaking stuff. On offense, a Sac Fly, 2 hits, including the only ball that went over an outfielder's head, sliced through the gale force winds like a hot knife through rich, creamery butter. The reason for this sterling performance? He got a new puppy!!! He also got engaged or something, congrats.
Chris "Fats" O'Driscoll: A 2B, 2 BB, 2 runs scored, and another "muted" tirade against Da Ump for........hell, I don't know anymore, but the fire that stokes his performance has other outlets apparently (O'D admitted to consuming great quantities of meat this weekend, Prince Fielder be damned).
Alexi "I AM ALL MAN!" Robins: 2 hits, 2 RBI, once again delivering a mighty wallop with the bases loaded...that landed in between the 2nd baseman and CF. Wee Willie Keeler said it best.
Sarah "Gamer" (Last Name Unknown): Scott "Ball Magnet" Spencer's lady friend, actually stayed through this meteorological nightmare to cheer on her man (though she may have been absorbed in literature), who rewarded her with yet another HBP, as well as an RBI single. Unknowingly in harm's way after Mac "Yogi (see, because Mac is a catcher like Berra, but he is also a master of his temper, like a Yogi)" Clonan struck out for a second consecutive at bat (It is theorized that Mac would have struck anything within, well, striking distance should a third such AB gone down in a similar fashion, humans included). We proudly present the Coors "I-Wish-My-(Significant Other)-Was-As-Half-As-Loyal-As-You" award to Ms. Gamer.
Other highlights included, Rich "Danger" Gamble with 2 hits, 1 of the base knock variety, and 1 of the Ow-My-Cranium! variety (Rich seems to have serious problems with avoiding injury, there must be something impairing his motor skills...). Justin "The Optimist" Hawkins and Eli "Priorities" Kollman picked up their first knocks of the year. In a show of team leadership, the manager kicked Kollman out of the game to show his distaste for Kollman's popup. Fortunately, this coincided with Eli's need to run off to play his futbol game, hence the nickname.
Next week:
Benders at 1PM in Alameda. Gut-Check-Game for Robins, Kamekona, Chong, and Montalvo. Penalties for their failure will include picking up the goose dung left on the field at Encinal High School (and there is always plenty).
Week 5: Storm & J-Hawk Goes "All-In" & Takes Down House
10AM start, No Clonan, Bucky shows up in the 2nd inning, yet the Storm get off to a quick start and never look back...with all the usual hilarity and weirdness that has transpired in our first 5 games.
Justin "The Optimist" Hawkins: 7 dominant innings in his first start of the year, punctuated by 10 K and no BB. Pedro, Maddux, and Johan all tip their caps in his direction. The Joe's are definitely a tough lineup, and Justin handled them with care (ease). The only blemish? Justin was very disappointed early on, due to his belief that he should not allow any hits...the game's first batter? Flare into center. It took the Storm bench jockeys all their might to restrain their strapping (and good-looking) manager from charging out to the mound and grabbing the ball out of J. Hawk's hand and telling him to hit the showers. Dealt admirably with some mediocre defense and a few flares off the bats of the opposition. He might be on the mound again at some point.
Chris "Fats"- O'Driscoll: Now I know people read this website, the Joe's know you well. Other than giving the opposing 2nd baseman advice on how to play an infield pop-up, and letting us know who the real CF on this team should be, O'D had 2 BB, and a 2B with 2 RBI, and an important handshake between innings to smooth the choppy waters we sailed upon.
Ben "OG Sweetie" Kamekona: 2 singles helped to ease the pain of his inablilty to handle a ground ball.......to center. Uncharacteristic to say the least for BK1, the manager is considering an appropriate punishment.
Kevin "Hando" Anderson: 2 singles, RBI. 2 frightening innings on the mound, in which he struck 3 batters with a pitched baseball in the same inning. There was no retaliation, most likely because it was the bottom of the 9th, and whatever they attempted would likely be met with another fastball to the dome. I blame his new catcher, Scott "Headhunter" Spencer. Another sight we haven't seen from Hando, an error at SS!
Alexi "Antacid" Robins: Thanks to his two most productive hitters missing the start of the game, the manager actually thought that hitting himself cleanup was a good idea...and he wasn't completely wrong! 2 x 2B x RBI = strike out looking on a ball that made him shift his ample undercarriage out of the batter's box.
Rich "Danger" Gamble: First start of the year behind the dish, catching his brother from another mother. A base knock, and it should be noted that Rich played the entire game with a bruised upper left glute (courtesy of BK1, you figure out how that happened).
Jeff "Grizzle" Graham: 2 Hits, 2 RBI, and enough baserunning and fielding broken equations/strange decisions/fever dreams to give the manager his new nickname. And a Dodger fan to boot. Jeff is a lawyer, yet offered no explanation of his actions. The manager is filing a civil suit against him in order to recoup the years lost of his life expectancy, now we'll see jst how good of a lawyer he is...
Phillipe "Beardful" Uharriet: 2 hits, a nice running grab in deep RF, and the will not to chastise his manager when told he must man 3rd base until the Prima Donna showed up. Why did he play so well? The beard of course, or because he wants us to remember him fondly while he departs from the field and our hearts for two weeks.
Scott "Headhunter" Spencer: 1B, BB, RBI. And of course, the aforementioned incident(s) in his Storm debut behind the plate. For any opposing players reading, no the manager does not call the pitches, that was all Scotty.
Graham "Sweeney" Chong: Booming 2B. In the starting lineup. That's right, a hit while in the starting lineup. No more PH only situations for Cheech.
Next week:
2PM against the Red Giants either at Washington again, or Westmoor High School in Daly City. To be safe, the manager will split the team into two factions. Each will show up to one of the fields and proceed to saturate the mound and batter's box until unplayable (we have seen how it is done), then get the rest of the squad to show up at whatever field the Red Giants make it to.
Week 4: True Grit: "A Danger-Gamble Tale"
Rich "Danger" Gamble: 7 intense innings, a micro-evolutionary event. Rich went from out-of-whack mechanics with no control to strike-throwing machine in the span of an inning. Lots of guts, heart, and other internal organs on display from Rich on his most holy of holy days. Contributed a sacrifice fly to help his cause.
Doug "Bucky" Zeman: 2-4 with a game changing bases loaded 3-run 2B. Also made the prettiest of pretty-pretty-princess plays at 3B. If the skirt fits...Also, gave some body sculpting advice to an opposing player in the nicest of terms, good show old chap.
Lex "Deceptively Fast, At Least For Someone In That Kind of Shape" Robins: The mightiest offensive showing of all, 3 blasts off the wall hit so ferociously that even the speed demon could not stretch them out..............ok, 3 scratch singles, including 2 that didn't leave the infield, and one that did, but had Lex trying to duplicate Grizzle's Tree-Falling-In-Woods technique of the previous week.
Mac "Unkept Promises" Clonan: What kind of teammate socializes with the enemy the night before the game? One who knows the importance of a Gut-Check-Game*. Mac failed to live up to his word that he would make no outs, which means he is unreliable, 'nuff said. Aside from that he did pick up his 2nd save in as many chances.
The Storm win 6-3, moving their record to 3-1 on the season. Plenty of interesting tidbits sprinkled throughout the game like so much Storm related offal (rain). O'Driscoll's fundamentally sound play to start the bottom of the 1st left the manager in a state of near panic that would be borne for the rest of the day. Our best defensive game so far, which continues a nice upward trend. Defensive highlights included BK1's laser to cut down a runner at 3rd (I don't think Doug had to move his glove at all), Grizzle's unassisted double play on a low liner to first, and PU's nifty grab of a 2-seamer to right field. The stolen base saga continued, with Ben, Lex, O'Driscoll, and Hando contributing one apiece, only to be outshined by Phillipe's 2 in one inning. Ben and O'D did an excellent job at the top of the order, reaching base 3 times each. J. Hawk threw another dominating inning in the 8th. Scott Spencer managed to pull off the amazing feat of recording an out by getting hit by a pitch, wtf?
Next week:
The Artichoke Joe's (is that right? somebody conjugate for me) at Washington Park, 10AM.
Week 3: Storm-troopers Offense Penetrates Rebel-lion Stronghold
Now that's more like it, a good day for the whole squad in all facets of the game. The offense exploded for 14 runs on 14 hits and 8 walks. The offense was going from the first pitch, and by the bottom of the 2nd, the Storm had a 7 run lead (Then it went stagnant when J. Hawk decided he wanted to personally greet all the offensive heroes at 1st base). Even more impressive, our best offensive output came against the Rebels' Joe Golden, the best pitcher we have seen so far. The 2-5 hitters put on quite a show, going 11-17 with 7 RBI.
Other than the names mentioned below, a lot of interesting stuff happened, including Scott "Quietly Building Up To A Good Moniker" Spencer's "phantom" HBP, the whole lineup's reaction to the 2nd pitcher of the day for the Rebels (those breezes almost made the heat bearable), the latest in pricey Mexican headwear bling, and Jeff "Grizzle" Graham's answer to the question of what happens when a line drive is hit near a tree falling in the woods (1st base)?...
The Swollen-Purple-Thunderheads:
Justin "Freakin' Padres Fan" Halpern: Made the trip (no expenses paid) up north to get his work in and dominated for 4 innings before making some sort of inappropriate comment about the ump's mother. At least that's the best explanation I can come up with for the strike zone he was getting.
Mac "What the #@*$ Do I Have To Do To Get A Dinger?!?!" Clonan: The easily repeatable nickname says it all, hit the weight room, stringbean. Gave the pine riders a good laugh when someone thought stealing third on him during a possible game-changing rally might be a good idea.
Doug "Bucky" Zeman: 3-4, and a lovely, near groin tear at 3rd base.
Ben "OG Sweetie" Kamekona: 3-4, including an unimaginable occurrence. Ben hit an opposite field 2B on a breaking ball. We have seen the light. Also stole his 3rd base, but look out! Mac has 3 as well with Chris on your heels. All the catchers in this league should be ashamed of themselves.
Justin "Jinx" Hawkins: The aforementioned offensive drought already has already attributed to him, as well as destroying the ocular orbit of the opposing first baseman while running out a grounder, to the replacement for THAT first basemen inexplicably pulling up lame on a a bad hammy as soon as he trotted out there. And apparently a jinx to opposing bats as he came up with a big K to put out the 5th inning fire. 3.1 innings of (almost, thanks Doug) perfect relief. Looks like he's back folks, but watch your step around him.
Kevin "Hando" Anderson: 3 hits and an inning of work on the mound, and more unspectacular steady dependability at SS, boring.
Graham "Mark Sweeney": Another pinch hit RBI knock. This time a 2 run 2B. People like Graham make me look smart. I like people like Graham.
Not to mention a very well played defensive game by all. A nice job by everyone!
Next week:
Mad Dogs at Washington Park 2PM on Sunday, please be there by 1PM. Counts as a Gut-Check Game* for Mac, Graham, and maybe Jami James if he could find his way off the DL.
* Opponent is a team that a current Storm player played for previously. We will have a few of these. If that player performs poorly against his former team he will be teased and laughed at until my throat is sore (unless it is me, in which case no laughing or teasing is permitted). Players who were not in the league last year, or whose team is now defunct will be ragged on at the manager's discretion.
Week 2: A meeting of Natural Disasters
While Billy Beane would praise us for our ability to draw walks, we could use some hits to drive those pedestrian types in. In the Tsunami game we scored 8 runs...on 10 walks and 4 hits. If your competitive nature is what gets you focused, place a bet with a stat freak like O'Driscoll or Kamekona to see who is on top at the end of the year.
Forces of Nature:
Rich "Danger" Gamble, unmedicated, took the mound and had another strong showing. 6 IP, 6H, 1ER, 1BB, 5K, as well as a bases loaded double that may or may not have been fair and may or may not have been touched by the 3rd basemen.
Kevin "Hando" Anderson: Pickin' it at short, dominating on the mound, how many effing breaking balls does he have?
Ben "OG Sweetie" Kamekona: When he wasn't sitting on his ass when trying to make a play, contributed a 3B and 2 SB. It saddens me to think that I can outrun someone who looks like that. Yeah, I said it.
Phillipe "Beardless" Uharriet: Had a day with half of the Storm's hit total, including a monster triple that may have taken a few years off his life due to bronchial strain rounding 2nd base.
Mac "Really needs a nickname" Clonan, rented a car and drove from Paso Robles after "wine tasting" on Saturday to run the show as our backstop and put out the 9th inning fire in true Billy Wagner-esque fashion. He also handled the business of keeping the home plate umpire from bursting any more blood vessels in that cherubic face of his, by letting the Tsunami players know how to conduct themselves on the field.
Next week:
We are playing the Rebels on Sunday the 13th at 10AM in the same location as last week. The Rebels, like many of the other teams once considered pushovers in this league, have improved a great deal. We have a lot going for us, we need to get the rest of our game (i.e. fielding, clutch hitting) up to snuff because it looks like the other teams have as well.
Week 1: No mother-f*$%@ing fences
Our defense was suspect. Our last 2 pitchers were trying to figure out why they were pitching when their arms were not fully reattached to their bodies. Our RF disappointed the coach by shaving his pre-season beard.
All that aside, what kills me is that of the 4 balls that would have been out of any field I can think of (WITH A FENCE), only 2 resulted in hits, neither of which was a tater. Taking into account baserunners, we missed 4 runs on those. The Isotopes are a good team, and I know we scared the hell out of them. They got a W, we didn't that's what it boils down to.
The Nimbi:
Rich "Danger" Gamble: A scratch double to lead off the game, a single 2 batters later, then no hits through 6 innings. An RBI to help the cause doesn't hurt either.
Chris "Fatty" O'Driscoll: On base 4 times with a booming 3B to lead off the game, 2 BB, and the most self-satisfying SB ever, complete with on-field taunting of the house lush.
Mac Clonan: The Competitor, great work behind the plate, had an RBI single, hit 2 HR...........oh wait, I mean a 2B and an F8. If the opposing CF is playing 400ft. away, you still have to allow the possibility of him being able to run backwards when you hit the ball.
Doug "Bucky" Zeman: Fashionably late, but at what cost? 2 hits and an RBI, but lost his shot at immortality when he
got in the batter's box too quickly after Mac's "2B" so the CF was still out in the soccer field when he Bucky took his might hack.
Lex Robins: Same as O'Driscoll but with a 2B instead of a 3B. No one called me fatty when I stole second.
In Summary:
S--t, we lost